My regrets.

At some point in life, we regret. We regret about the things we have done and said. We regret about the things we have left undone and unsaid. Some regrets conquer our thoughts. Some regrets turn our hearts sour.

Yes. We shall never regret our actions. Yes. We must always think before we act to save ourselves from regretting. Yes. We must do this we must do that to safeguard ourselves from this from that. Yes. If only there are written procedures and precautions like those in my laboratory manuals. Yes. If only there’s a standard operating procedures in life. Yes. If only we are perfect. But, if only there isn’t any “ifs”. Let’s put these rules aside, and allow the “childish” feel of human flow.

The little girl regretted not giving the lollipop to her playmate she had in nursery. The young boy regretted not putting your mind and concentration on studies and that he is now a drop-out, living life as it passes each day – aimlessly somehow. The teenage chap regretted for laying his fists on his grandfather, so hard that he passed away, and that he is sitting quietly in jail now. The young man regretted so much that he had put pleasure over precaution, and that he is going to be a father soon. The young woman regretted so much that she had chosen abortion over an innocent life, and that she cries so painfully each night as it wasn’t her right choice.

Of many regrets that I’ve had, some of which I could hardly remember and some of which I could never forget, they are mostly wrong decisions made or issues left undone. As much as life continues, they still harbour in my mind, my thoughts.

Dated back when I was still a young boy in primary school during the mid 1990s, I regretted for filling the cap of the correction pen with the correction liquid and closed it. The pen belonged to my classmate sitting next to me and the next thing I know, her whole table, shirt and skirt was smeared with the liquid when she uncapped the pen. I got shouted so loudly, which I didn’t really care. She sobbed so pitifully that made me felt so guilty. Her name was Jan.

Dated back when I was still a young teenager my secondary school times, I regretted so much for not letting nature take its course. Instead, for some personal reasons, I pulled out. It goes like this. There was this fantastic girl that came into my life. She was so nice to me and was almost perfect for me at that point of time. Romance entered our life with sweetest words floating around us. Like everyone else would expect a bonding among me and her. Nothing happened. I freaked out and pulled out. I had a hundred-and-eighty degree change. I became another person overnight, and soon – gone. Maybe I wasn’t ready. Maybe I was afraid. Whatever it was, I didn’t do what I feel right about. I didn’t follow my heart and let the nature work its magic. I regretted. Her name was Grace.

Dated back when I was waiting for my polytechnic admission after my O’s, I regretted for throwing a punch at my close friends over a girl that tried to resist his touchy actions. I punched him so hard on your cheekbone area that he fell immediately with his nose bleeding. Back then, there were a big woo-ha over this issue. But, what was done was done. We can’t simply turn back the time. His name was Alex.

Recently, I regretted so much to initiate a break-up with my ex-girl, who just discharged from a serious accident and with a post-trauma temporary memory loss. Under the intense pressure from her parents, and that fingers were pointing at me for the cause, and that she didn’t recognize me and our past much, and only to know and reminded that I was her boyfriend, I decided to leave her for good. Everything was fine like before. It wasn’t a big issue to her, for she didn’t have the memory of us, but it meant a world to me. I was holding up strong though it hurt me so much back then. Many memories returned and conquered my mind. And things started to tear apart when her memories returned. Her name was Genevieve.

Many things happen every single day. Some days seem to go smoothly as you wish. Some days seem like a struggle. Life is full of choices, and we made the wrong one sometimes. Remorse and denial set in, but will soon go away. We will pick ourselves up and moved on with life. And although we have moved on, they will stay with us and remind us in our sub-conscious world, so as we won’t make the same mistake again.

So, have you regretted? What is your regret? Share with us in my comment section. Enjoy.