Soon another chapter of my education journey will be ending. I’m currently stuck in the midst of my exams, and thus unable to gather much thought to present you guys with anything. My apology. Just a short entry here.
Everything that life offers us, or vice versa, has a cycle. We’ve learnt the water cycle, the life cycle of animals/insects/plants, the menstrual cycle etc. Whatever it is, it’s a cycle. It’s a cycle we are revolved or involved in. What about man and woman? Is there a relationship cycle in between? Hear me out for this.
Relationship Cycle
Stage 1: Honeymoon Period.
I know I know. How cliché can that be isn’t it? Perhaps, that’s the period we probably enjoy most. The period where nothing else seems to matter anymore, apart from the person you’re emotionally attached to or whatever it is.
Stage 2: Quarrel
As honeymoon doesn’t taste sweet anymore, quarrels start to set in. Arguments are common when it comes to relationships. Misunderstandings, differences in opinion, attitude-wise, character-wise etc. are the culprits, as at this point all of them seem to become words. Such arguments can last minutes, hours, or even days and weeks.
Stage 3: Cold-shoulder
When both parties don’t seem to be able to make their stand, come to a conclusion, and sign the peace treaty, they get bored. Ignorant set in and they refuse to talk. Often, the woman will be expecting the call of apology, which sometime ended up quarrelling again. Often, the man will be too egotistical to take any initiative, and think he’s too right to be wrong and stuff.
Stage 4: Breaking up ‘or’ Peace treaty
Well, the heading speaks for itself already. Many a times, two resolutions are concluded. They are either breaking up or coming to a compromise. And when both agree, say the ‘peace treaty’ option, the honeymoon period (stage1) resumed, and the cycle relives.
Friday, September 23, 2005
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Jessie.
Like a lost soul, Jessie had longed lost her sense of time, her sense of direction and her sense about life. She’s jobless and wondered by the bay. She’s penniless and begged by the bay. She’s homeless and lived by the bay. She’s limbless, but had no recollection of any occurrences. Each day was an unpredictable day for Jessie. She had to brave all odds like the bad weather and the passing people.
The bad weather never seemed to take notice of her presence. Some day, the heaven would summon icy rains, piercing her bare naked skin like needles. Some day, they would summon scorching sun, scalding her skin to an extent where spontaneous combustion could well happen any time.
The passing people never seemed to take notice of her presence. Often, they would stepped over her, sometimes even onto her. Once a while, she would receive spits. At any time when she’s seen, the latter would often take off in horror. And never once, she had received a penny or two, food or care.
Perhaps, Jessie was used to not taking meals or drinks. Even if her stomach was groaning, screaming to be fed, nothing could be done due to her paralysis and her bad finances. Every minute, she felt lonesome. Every second, she felt meaningless.
As deep down inside Jessie, she was looking for an answer to her question, “Why?” And so, everyday without fail, she would wait for its every dawn and dusk. Perhaps, her belief still stood strong. Perhaps, her faith was still holding her together. And as with every beginning has an ending, every ending is also beginning.
And for years, she sat by and viewed every passing day. Today, a flown cover of a newspaper lands quietly by her side with a headline – “A spirit that haunts the bay.”
Sunday, September 11, 2005
The Guilt and The Soft Side
Everybody has a “soft” side. How cold-blooded a person can be, how stiff and straight a person can be or how hard-hearted a person can be, I still believe in the soft side of each individual. I have no definition in mind now to actually define “soft” side. It can be anything ranging from an issue you feel, think, empathize or sympathize about. Today, I have two ordinary stories to tell. One story on my personal cruel experience, and another on my friend’s experience.
Story 1: My cruel experience
A simple story to tell about my experience, which was dated back when I was in Dalian, China doing my overseas industrial attachment.
One fine day over the weekend, I was roaming round the busiest town of Dalian city with my mate. Shopping had been a daily chore to us back there, so the two of us had decided to plain enjoy the busy street along with the nice cool weather. As we were starting to mesmerize in the sweet scent and the scenic plot, my leg was jammed within the arms of a little boy. I was dumbfounded by the method, and soon regained my composure. I struggled my way out and had no mercy upon how. What the boy wanted was for us to buy at least a stalk of rose which only cost 5yuan (S$1).
The struggle went on, yet the boy didn’t give up. Only after much struggle, only when he got hold of my mate’s muffler, and only when I started to realize the muffler was tearing into two, I gave in. Together, we bought two stalks of rose and continued our walk. So much effort put in to get two chaps, loaded with hundreds, to buy some roses. What the boy wanted was for us to buy at least a stalk of rose which only cost 5yuan (S$1).
On a return trip, after a movie at one theater house nearby, we were caught up again. Although it was getting dark, the persistence and determination remained strong. This time round was a little girl. She rushed straight into my mate and grabbed her by her jeans with all her might. Nothing could be done, even when we resisted. She just didn’t give up. What the girl wanted was for us to buy at least a stalk of rose which only cost 5yuan (S$1).
We battled. Physically and verbally. She didn’t give up, we didn’t give in. And the struggle went on for a while. Only when the little girl realized how cruel we might be, only when the little girl realized we had dragged her almost onto the two-lane carriageway, and only when the little girl realized her words, her tears and her effort were of no use to get two chaps, loaded with hundreds, to buy some roses again. She gave up. The last sentence I heard from her was simply (in Chinese), “You bought roses from him (the little boy), why not from me?” The last sight of her was – she wiped away her falling tears, turned around and walked away. Tears were rolling still, when she hung the bucket of roses on one hand and with another clinging onto some strangers to buy her roses. What the girl wanted was for us to buy at least a stalk of rose which only cost 5yuan (S$1).
-it happens on the street opposite this building.
Since then, the struggles, the persuasive words, the cries, and especially the last sentence of that little girl still echo in my mind. I can visualize that whole situation as if it just happened yesterday. I was indeed cruel. I could have bought it. I could have bought it. There was no need for a struggle. It was one buck to me, not even enough for a chicken rice meal or a meepok dry. Sometimes I can’t stop thinking. Perhaps, what’s done is done. Neither can I rectify the whole issue nor can I reach the little girl again. And I’m very guilty and these experience will stay haunting me.
Since then, whenever I walked passed one with a bowl or one with tissues, that incident would reappear in mind and I would not hesitate to drop a penny or two or buy some tissues.
Story 2: A friend’s experience
It happened to her at some point in life in the past. It was in one of Singapore’s busiest underpass, connecting orchard mrt to many different parts/buildings of orchard road. There was an old lady, physically disabled. Her scent was certainly unpleasant. She was praying for enough pennies to buy herself a proper meal. No one seemed to care at that moment. And out of desperation, she decided to start approaching strangers instead.
Many were irritated. Some were really annoyed. The more people she approached, the more people tried to avoid. Perhaps it was really “peak” hour. Everybody seemed to be in a rush. No one seemed to care. Nothing good and kind happened until she met my kind friend. After much words of persuasion, the intention was pretty clear, and what caught my friend’s attention was, “…please! I’m really hungry and I just wanted enough money for a proper meal….” Without further ado, a ten dollars’ note was passed, and he rushed away for a running-late-meeting. Despite her physical disability, the old lady hurried to my friend and whispered, “God bless your kind soul.”
Perhaps, the money to the little boy will end up in the hands of the master. Perhaps, the old lady wanted the money for another cause. Whatever it is or may be, does it really matters? There's a clich'e saying that goes, "Is the thought that counts." It's like buying a gift for a person's birthday, you don't care much regarding how he uses/treats your gift. It's your thoughts that count. Perhaps, we can apply this to the above situations, and stop thinking where it will land. What goes around, will come back to you one day.
Story 1: My cruel experience
A simple story to tell about my experience, which was dated back when I was in Dalian, China doing my overseas industrial attachment.
One fine day over the weekend, I was roaming round the busiest town of Dalian city with my mate. Shopping had been a daily chore to us back there, so the two of us had decided to plain enjoy the busy street along with the nice cool weather. As we were starting to mesmerize in the sweet scent and the scenic plot, my leg was jammed within the arms of a little boy. I was dumbfounded by the method, and soon regained my composure. I struggled my way out and had no mercy upon how. What the boy wanted was for us to buy at least a stalk of rose which only cost 5yuan (S$1).
The struggle went on, yet the boy didn’t give up. Only after much struggle, only when he got hold of my mate’s muffler, and only when I started to realize the muffler was tearing into two, I gave in. Together, we bought two stalks of rose and continued our walk. So much effort put in to get two chaps, loaded with hundreds, to buy some roses. What the boy wanted was for us to buy at least a stalk of rose which only cost 5yuan (S$1).
On a return trip, after a movie at one theater house nearby, we were caught up again. Although it was getting dark, the persistence and determination remained strong. This time round was a little girl. She rushed straight into my mate and grabbed her by her jeans with all her might. Nothing could be done, even when we resisted. She just didn’t give up. What the girl wanted was for us to buy at least a stalk of rose which only cost 5yuan (S$1).
We battled. Physically and verbally. She didn’t give up, we didn’t give in. And the struggle went on for a while. Only when the little girl realized how cruel we might be, only when the little girl realized we had dragged her almost onto the two-lane carriageway, and only when the little girl realized her words, her tears and her effort were of no use to get two chaps, loaded with hundreds, to buy some roses again. She gave up. The last sentence I heard from her was simply (in Chinese), “You bought roses from him (the little boy), why not from me?” The last sight of her was – she wiped away her falling tears, turned around and walked away. Tears were rolling still, when she hung the bucket of roses on one hand and with another clinging onto some strangers to buy her roses. What the girl wanted was for us to buy at least a stalk of rose which only cost 5yuan (S$1).
-it happens on the street opposite this building.
Since then, the struggles, the persuasive words, the cries, and especially the last sentence of that little girl still echo in my mind. I can visualize that whole situation as if it just happened yesterday. I was indeed cruel. I could have bought it. I could have bought it. There was no need for a struggle. It was one buck to me, not even enough for a chicken rice meal or a meepok dry. Sometimes I can’t stop thinking. Perhaps, what’s done is done. Neither can I rectify the whole issue nor can I reach the little girl again. And I’m very guilty and these experience will stay haunting me.
Since then, whenever I walked passed one with a bowl or one with tissues, that incident would reappear in mind and I would not hesitate to drop a penny or two or buy some tissues.
Story 2: A friend’s experience
It happened to her at some point in life in the past. It was in one of Singapore’s busiest underpass, connecting orchard mrt to many different parts/buildings of orchard road. There was an old lady, physically disabled. Her scent was certainly unpleasant. She was praying for enough pennies to buy herself a proper meal. No one seemed to care at that moment. And out of desperation, she decided to start approaching strangers instead.
Many were irritated. Some were really annoyed. The more people she approached, the more people tried to avoid. Perhaps it was really “peak” hour. Everybody seemed to be in a rush. No one seemed to care. Nothing good and kind happened until she met my kind friend. After much words of persuasion, the intention was pretty clear, and what caught my friend’s attention was, “…please! I’m really hungry and I just wanted enough money for a proper meal….” Without further ado, a ten dollars’ note was passed, and he rushed away for a running-late-meeting. Despite her physical disability, the old lady hurried to my friend and whispered, “God bless your kind soul.”
Perhaps, the money to the little boy will end up in the hands of the master. Perhaps, the old lady wanted the money for another cause. Whatever it is or may be, does it really matters? There's a clich'e saying that goes, "Is the thought that counts." It's like buying a gift for a person's birthday, you don't care much regarding how he uses/treats your gift. It's your thoughts that count. Perhaps, we can apply this to the above situations, and stop thinking where it will land. What goes around, will come back to you one day.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Saturday Party Fever!
"The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate." - Oprah Winfrey
-group photo
Weekend was fantastic. Saturday party fever you can call it. Attended Sarah's 21st birthday at the Legend's Country Club. That international buffet dinner was fabulous. Once again Sarah, I would like to wish you a Happy 21st Birthday with many joys and laughters. Welcome to the adult world. Well, I would love to join you, but my time ain't right yet.
-gorgeous, but i'm just wondering if she was still sober then after much wine.
-poor hungry sarah. only left with a small piece of her cake.
-the four smart peepsss
Party was certainly fantastic. But that's not all. Went down to sahara (an arabian pub) for some sheesha and some cold beer. Woohoo. We eventually got picked up for some dance, which we have no idea how. Well, to save some faces, we managed to "pretend" to know how.
The night ended around 5am after a good supper at the usual hang-out. Cheers.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Nothing Compares To You.
It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away
Since you been gone I can do whatever
I wantI can see whomever
I chooseI can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothingI said nothing can take away this blues
'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you.
It's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby where did I go wrong
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor n' guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said girl you better try to have fun
No matter what you doBut he's a fool
'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you.
All the flowers that you planted, mama
In the back yard
All died when you went away
I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard
But I'm willing to give it another try
'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you.
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away
Since you been gone I can do whatever
I wantI can see whomever
I chooseI can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothingI said nothing can take away this blues
'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you.
It's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby where did I go wrong
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor n' guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said girl you better try to have fun
No matter what you doBut he's a fool
'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you.
All the flowers that you planted, mama
In the back yard
All died when you went away
I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard
But I'm willing to give it another try
'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Damages.
Everything in life damages. They tend to dent something, change someone and affect somehow. We think about things, do things and say things. Often, these actions affect. And many a time, we do not realize. Yet, at the other end of the line, issues are altered; mentality changes and people are damaged, physically or emotionally. Sometimes they affect in the good way and sometimes in the bad. While the damages will not manifest itself most of the time, the chronic impact that it contains may well be unimaginable.
Today – a bad day. Everything popped up out of nowhere. Everything wasn’t in your way smoothly. Every element of bad feelings flowed in. The first thing you wanted so much to do was to be alone for a while. The last thing you didn’t want was to see another bad event coming your way. But your luck was rotten and your order of “first thing, last thing” got reversed.
It’s only natural for bad thoughts to enter your mind after many unforeseen events. These thoughts build up in your mind as bad experiences or motives. As time passes by, they change your concept and mentality on certain stuffs, they changes your whole point of view and how you going to react to a certain issues and they changes you. You feel so cautious now, you don’t feel natural and you don’t feel yourself. Bottom-line – the things you think will damage.
Today – a fruitful day. You fell into a deep discussion with your fellow buddies about an interesting topic about lust, infatuation and love. You guys debated and concluded on the clear difference, in view of thin-invisible lines each has. Your understanding hit another level.
Perhaps, today in that discussion you engaged in, you’ve said nothing wrong, you’ve done nothing wrong and you’re clear about your intentions. But, people still get affected. Words are always so powerful and damaging. You wouldn’t know how, you wouldn’t know why.
Knowing something before experiencing it and knowing something when you’re experiencing it is a total different matter altogether. Like the child who is about to learn how to stand on his feet and walk with the knowledge of the many consequences of falling. Bottom-line – the things you say will damage.
Today – a disgusting day. I saw a young Indian kid got spat at by several Chinese kids at the playground. I saw a secondary school educator laughing, together with his clique, at a semi-autistic girl in uniform of their school at the nearby coffee-shop. I saw a little girl who got caned so badly by her mother for god knows why at the void deck.
Actions, Actions and more disgusting ones. The aftermath of each action is pretty much obvious over here and needless for me to explain, and that I’ll just leave this section empty for you to fill it in. Bottom-line – the things you do will damage.
By far, till today, how much have we been damaged? This is a question that I can never answer. But I know these damages are done by my parents, by my friends/lovers and by me, which make up the imperfections in me, in you, in us.
Word of wisdom: Watch your thoughts, watch your words and watch your actions. They are the ultimate weapons of destruction.
Enjoy!
Today – a bad day. Everything popped up out of nowhere. Everything wasn’t in your way smoothly. Every element of bad feelings flowed in. The first thing you wanted so much to do was to be alone for a while. The last thing you didn’t want was to see another bad event coming your way. But your luck was rotten and your order of “first thing, last thing” got reversed.
It’s only natural for bad thoughts to enter your mind after many unforeseen events. These thoughts build up in your mind as bad experiences or motives. As time passes by, they change your concept and mentality on certain stuffs, they changes your whole point of view and how you going to react to a certain issues and they changes you. You feel so cautious now, you don’t feel natural and you don’t feel yourself. Bottom-line – the things you think will damage.
Today – a fruitful day. You fell into a deep discussion with your fellow buddies about an interesting topic about lust, infatuation and love. You guys debated and concluded on the clear difference, in view of thin-invisible lines each has. Your understanding hit another level.
Perhaps, today in that discussion you engaged in, you’ve said nothing wrong, you’ve done nothing wrong and you’re clear about your intentions. But, people still get affected. Words are always so powerful and damaging. You wouldn’t know how, you wouldn’t know why.
Knowing something before experiencing it and knowing something when you’re experiencing it is a total different matter altogether. Like the child who is about to learn how to stand on his feet and walk with the knowledge of the many consequences of falling. Bottom-line – the things you say will damage.
Today – a disgusting day. I saw a young Indian kid got spat at by several Chinese kids at the playground. I saw a secondary school educator laughing, together with his clique, at a semi-autistic girl in uniform of their school at the nearby coffee-shop. I saw a little girl who got caned so badly by her mother for god knows why at the void deck.
Actions, Actions and more disgusting ones. The aftermath of each action is pretty much obvious over here and needless for me to explain, and that I’ll just leave this section empty for you to fill it in. Bottom-line – the things you do will damage.
By far, till today, how much have we been damaged? This is a question that I can never answer. But I know these damages are done by my parents, by my friends/lovers and by me, which make up the imperfections in me, in you, in us.
Word of wisdom: Watch your thoughts, watch your words and watch your actions. They are the ultimate weapons of destruction.
Enjoy!
Saturday, August 27, 2005
A Short Thought.
I couldn't spare much time these days to post any entries. I'm too held up with things on hand. Couldn't seem to get much burden off my back. But like the busiest street around, there bound to be a traffic light. That's where a pause will be, an indication of rest. It's just a matter of time. It's just about the time. It's all about when.
Just a short one here today. Lifted it off somewhere I read.
"Love, like rain, can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy. But sometimes under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must nourish from below, tending to its roots, keeping itself alive." - Mitch Albom
Think about it. Cheers and Enjoy!
Just a short one here today. Lifted it off somewhere I read.
"Love, like rain, can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy. But sometimes under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must nourish from below, tending to its roots, keeping itself alive." - Mitch Albom
Think about it. Cheers and Enjoy!
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
You are your key.
Have you wondered before about the conscious and subconscious world?
Every individual thinks. Their thinking can be anything that can range from life, love, problems, past issues, ongoing/upcoming issues etc. Although these thoughts may differ in many aspects, the tone can be generally categorized into optimistic and pessimistic. They either ponder about the best of the best in all possible worlds or deepen into the gloomiest possible views. Whichever it may be, there’s an impact on how and what the outcome will be.
Life is a complicated journey we must walk. It offers us with many things beyond our expectations. It offers us with opportunity, speaking of which we often let it pass by. It offers us with challenges that we sometime find it hard to overcome. It offers us different directions that put us in a dilemma of choices. Sometimes we get so breathless and tired of living, while sometimes we just smile at it and fasten our pace. Hence, in order to keep up on track, we must do things in the right way and live it right.
The power of human mind is the key. It’s you who control your feelings. It’s you who choose your thoughts. It’s you who determine the portrayal of yourself. You, like anybody else, have the power to do things beyond the limits that you think you can reach. You, like anybody else, have the power to organize your life within your palm. You are the answer to your doubts and your desires.
In my point of view, the subconscious mind plays a more important role than the conscious mind. From my belief, a successful person is one who can control his subconscious mind in the right sense, the right way.
Take doing comprehension for example (got this theory from a book), the teacher always reminds the student to glance through the questions first before reading the passage, and then read the passage twice. Why is this so? The reason is simple. When you read the questions, you register them in your subconscious mind which constantly tries to tackle the questions before and when more information is being registered. And hence, you sometimes find it easier to complete the comprehension in that sense. This theory goes the same way as for the mind map. That is why by looking at the big picture first, helps in the analysis when looking into the details. Whatever it is, my point is – the power of your subconscious mind.
Many times in our life, when things happen in an unfavourable manner, we complain about it. Sometimes, we complain so much that we constantly remind ourselves in our subconscious world although it seems like it has moved on in our conscious world.
Many times in our life, we include the word “if” in our thoughts or conversation etc. We use it to describe our past, present or future (think about it). Some are positive “ifs” and some are negative “ifs”. The “ifs”, however will stay in our subconscious world and will always be that way, unless we take actions to erase these “ifs” in our conscious world.
Experiences, be it the good ones or the bad ones, stays in the conscious mind for a while and leave but not the subconscious mind, which stays there forever. These experiences in the subconscious world constantly remind us on how to do the things right or how to prevent yourself from making the same mistakes again etc.
In conclusion, never let your subconscious mind controls you. Instead, control your subconscious mind and you know you have the power to. Your conscious mind has too many things to handle like your actions and reactions etc. On the other hand, your subconscious mind is always doing the thinking, whether or not you are aware of, even when you’re asleep. Therefore, since you have one life to live, which means you have one chance to do it and live it right. Be optimistic and dream what you want to dream, dare to do and reach where and what you want and live a better, happier life.
All these may sound complicated, confusing or even contradicting and controversial, but hope you can get what I’m trying to put across to you. Below is something a friend had shared with me in the past and I will like to share it with you guys. Enjoy!
When you think,
it becomes your thoughts,
which will lead to your motives.
Your motives,
will become your actions,
which will soon become your habits.
Your habits,
will determine your character,
which will then be your destiny.
Told by Sarah – a friend of mine.
Every individual thinks. Their thinking can be anything that can range from life, love, problems, past issues, ongoing/upcoming issues etc. Although these thoughts may differ in many aspects, the tone can be generally categorized into optimistic and pessimistic. They either ponder about the best of the best in all possible worlds or deepen into the gloomiest possible views. Whichever it may be, there’s an impact on how and what the outcome will be.
Life is a complicated journey we must walk. It offers us with many things beyond our expectations. It offers us with opportunity, speaking of which we often let it pass by. It offers us with challenges that we sometime find it hard to overcome. It offers us different directions that put us in a dilemma of choices. Sometimes we get so breathless and tired of living, while sometimes we just smile at it and fasten our pace. Hence, in order to keep up on track, we must do things in the right way and live it right.
The power of human mind is the key. It’s you who control your feelings. It’s you who choose your thoughts. It’s you who determine the portrayal of yourself. You, like anybody else, have the power to do things beyond the limits that you think you can reach. You, like anybody else, have the power to organize your life within your palm. You are the answer to your doubts and your desires.
In my point of view, the subconscious mind plays a more important role than the conscious mind. From my belief, a successful person is one who can control his subconscious mind in the right sense, the right way.
Take doing comprehension for example (got this theory from a book), the teacher always reminds the student to glance through the questions first before reading the passage, and then read the passage twice. Why is this so? The reason is simple. When you read the questions, you register them in your subconscious mind which constantly tries to tackle the questions before and when more information is being registered. And hence, you sometimes find it easier to complete the comprehension in that sense. This theory goes the same way as for the mind map. That is why by looking at the big picture first, helps in the analysis when looking into the details. Whatever it is, my point is – the power of your subconscious mind.
Many times in our life, when things happen in an unfavourable manner, we complain about it. Sometimes, we complain so much that we constantly remind ourselves in our subconscious world although it seems like it has moved on in our conscious world.
Many times in our life, we include the word “if” in our thoughts or conversation etc. We use it to describe our past, present or future (think about it). Some are positive “ifs” and some are negative “ifs”. The “ifs”, however will stay in our subconscious world and will always be that way, unless we take actions to erase these “ifs” in our conscious world.
Experiences, be it the good ones or the bad ones, stays in the conscious mind for a while and leave but not the subconscious mind, which stays there forever. These experiences in the subconscious world constantly remind us on how to do the things right or how to prevent yourself from making the same mistakes again etc.
In conclusion, never let your subconscious mind controls you. Instead, control your subconscious mind and you know you have the power to. Your conscious mind has too many things to handle like your actions and reactions etc. On the other hand, your subconscious mind is always doing the thinking, whether or not you are aware of, even when you’re asleep. Therefore, since you have one life to live, which means you have one chance to do it and live it right. Be optimistic and dream what you want to dream, dare to do and reach where and what you want and live a better, happier life.
All these may sound complicated, confusing or even contradicting and controversial, but hope you can get what I’m trying to put across to you. Below is something a friend had shared with me in the past and I will like to share it with you guys. Enjoy!
When you think,
it becomes your thoughts,
which will lead to your motives.
Your motives,
will become your actions,
which will soon become your habits.
Your habits,
will determine your character,
which will then be your destiny.
Told by Sarah – a friend of mine.
Monday, August 22, 2005
My regrets.
At some point in life, we regret. We regret about the things we have done and said. We regret about the things we have left undone and unsaid. Some regrets conquer our thoughts. Some regrets turn our hearts sour.
Yes. We shall never regret our actions. Yes. We must always think before we act to save ourselves from regretting. Yes. We must do this we must do that to safeguard ourselves from this from that. Yes. If only there are written procedures and precautions like those in my laboratory manuals. Yes. If only there’s a standard operating procedures in life. Yes. If only we are perfect. But, if only there isn’t any “ifs”. Let’s put these rules aside, and allow the “childish” feel of human flow.
The little girl regretted not giving the lollipop to her playmate she had in nursery. The young boy regretted not putting your mind and concentration on studies and that he is now a drop-out, living life as it passes each day – aimlessly somehow. The teenage chap regretted for laying his fists on his grandfather, so hard that he passed away, and that he is sitting quietly in jail now. The young man regretted so much that he had put pleasure over precaution, and that he is going to be a father soon. The young woman regretted so much that she had chosen abortion over an innocent life, and that she cries so painfully each night as it wasn’t her right choice.
Of many regrets that I’ve had, some of which I could hardly remember and some of which I could never forget, they are mostly wrong decisions made or issues left undone. As much as life continues, they still harbour in my mind, my thoughts.
Dated back when I was still a young boy in primary school during the mid 1990s, I regretted for filling the cap of the correction pen with the correction liquid and closed it. The pen belonged to my classmate sitting next to me and the next thing I know, her whole table, shirt and skirt was smeared with the liquid when she uncapped the pen. I got shouted so loudly, which I didn’t really care. She sobbed so pitifully that made me felt so guilty. Her name was Jan.
Dated back when I was still a young teenager my secondary school times, I regretted so much for not letting nature take its course. Instead, for some personal reasons, I pulled out. It goes like this. There was this fantastic girl that came into my life. She was so nice to me and was almost perfect for me at that point of time. Romance entered our life with sweetest words floating around us. Like everyone else would expect a bonding among me and her. Nothing happened. I freaked out and pulled out. I had a hundred-and-eighty degree change. I became another person overnight, and soon – gone. Maybe I wasn’t ready. Maybe I was afraid. Whatever it was, I didn’t do what I feel right about. I didn’t follow my heart and let the nature work its magic. I regretted. Her name was Grace.
Dated back when I was waiting for my polytechnic admission after my O’s, I regretted for throwing a punch at my close friends over a girl that tried to resist his touchy actions. I punched him so hard on your cheekbone area that he fell immediately with his nose bleeding. Back then, there were a big woo-ha over this issue. But, what was done was done. We can’t simply turn back the time. His name was Alex.
Recently, I regretted so much to initiate a break-up with my ex-girl, who just discharged from a serious accident and with a post-trauma temporary memory loss. Under the intense pressure from her parents, and that fingers were pointing at me for the cause, and that she didn’t recognize me and our past much, and only to know and reminded that I was her boyfriend, I decided to leave her for good. Everything was fine like before. It wasn’t a big issue to her, for she didn’t have the memory of us, but it meant a world to me. I was holding up strong though it hurt me so much back then. Many memories returned and conquered my mind. And things started to tear apart when her memories returned. Her name was Genevieve.
Many things happen every single day. Some days seem to go smoothly as you wish. Some days seem like a struggle. Life is full of choices, and we made the wrong one sometimes. Remorse and denial set in, but will soon go away. We will pick ourselves up and moved on with life. And although we have moved on, they will stay with us and remind us in our sub-conscious world, so as we won’t make the same mistake again.
So, have you regretted? What is your regret? Share with us in my comment section. Enjoy.
Yes. We shall never regret our actions. Yes. We must always think before we act to save ourselves from regretting. Yes. We must do this we must do that to safeguard ourselves from this from that. Yes. If only there are written procedures and precautions like those in my laboratory manuals. Yes. If only there’s a standard operating procedures in life. Yes. If only we are perfect. But, if only there isn’t any “ifs”. Let’s put these rules aside, and allow the “childish” feel of human flow.
The little girl regretted not giving the lollipop to her playmate she had in nursery. The young boy regretted not putting your mind and concentration on studies and that he is now a drop-out, living life as it passes each day – aimlessly somehow. The teenage chap regretted for laying his fists on his grandfather, so hard that he passed away, and that he is sitting quietly in jail now. The young man regretted so much that he had put pleasure over precaution, and that he is going to be a father soon. The young woman regretted so much that she had chosen abortion over an innocent life, and that she cries so painfully each night as it wasn’t her right choice.
Of many regrets that I’ve had, some of which I could hardly remember and some of which I could never forget, they are mostly wrong decisions made or issues left undone. As much as life continues, they still harbour in my mind, my thoughts.
Dated back when I was still a young boy in primary school during the mid 1990s, I regretted for filling the cap of the correction pen with the correction liquid and closed it. The pen belonged to my classmate sitting next to me and the next thing I know, her whole table, shirt and skirt was smeared with the liquid when she uncapped the pen. I got shouted so loudly, which I didn’t really care. She sobbed so pitifully that made me felt so guilty. Her name was Jan.
Dated back when I was still a young teenager my secondary school times, I regretted so much for not letting nature take its course. Instead, for some personal reasons, I pulled out. It goes like this. There was this fantastic girl that came into my life. She was so nice to me and was almost perfect for me at that point of time. Romance entered our life with sweetest words floating around us. Like everyone else would expect a bonding among me and her. Nothing happened. I freaked out and pulled out. I had a hundred-and-eighty degree change. I became another person overnight, and soon – gone. Maybe I wasn’t ready. Maybe I was afraid. Whatever it was, I didn’t do what I feel right about. I didn’t follow my heart and let the nature work its magic. I regretted. Her name was Grace.
Dated back when I was waiting for my polytechnic admission after my O’s, I regretted for throwing a punch at my close friends over a girl that tried to resist his touchy actions. I punched him so hard on your cheekbone area that he fell immediately with his nose bleeding. Back then, there were a big woo-ha over this issue. But, what was done was done. We can’t simply turn back the time. His name was Alex.
Recently, I regretted so much to initiate a break-up with my ex-girl, who just discharged from a serious accident and with a post-trauma temporary memory loss. Under the intense pressure from her parents, and that fingers were pointing at me for the cause, and that she didn’t recognize me and our past much, and only to know and reminded that I was her boyfriend, I decided to leave her for good. Everything was fine like before. It wasn’t a big issue to her, for she didn’t have the memory of us, but it meant a world to me. I was holding up strong though it hurt me so much back then. Many memories returned and conquered my mind. And things started to tear apart when her memories returned. Her name was Genevieve.
Many things happen every single day. Some days seem to go smoothly as you wish. Some days seem like a struggle. Life is full of choices, and we made the wrong one sometimes. Remorse and denial set in, but will soon go away. We will pick ourselves up and moved on with life. And although we have moved on, they will stay with us and remind us in our sub-conscious world, so as we won’t make the same mistake again.
So, have you regretted? What is your regret? Share with us in my comment section. Enjoy.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Is that what you see?
Ahh. Finally gotten some time to give myself some peace. I've been real busy these days, juggling with my work and studies. Trying hard to complete tasks to meet deadlines. Of course, like everyone else, these projects/assignments/reports just seem never-ending. Still, it has come to a short pause. As for now, I shall gather tidy up my thoughts and put them into words.
Few things have been happening around me. Something didn't really bother me much. But, some just made my blood boil.
Many a time, which I won't deny, we are so narrow-minded. In the heat of moment, we only believe in what we see. While apart of knowing the fact that it’s the wrong thing that we are actually seeing, we often reject any explanations. When there is always (I meant all the time) two sides to a story, we resign to the clear side that we witness.
Miscommunication tends to work around us. And it becomes an issue when we misinterpret the situation and react in a wrongful circumstance. This is what I personally called - The Evolution of Misunderstanding.
For you, Mr-Misunderstanding
I curse you,
for giving me a body without brain.
I curse you again,
for giving me hands without fingers.
I swear at you,
for giving me legs with another shorter.
I swear at you again,
for giving me a heart that does not feel.
yq
0000h
19Aug'05
Few things have been happening around me. Something didn't really bother me much. But, some just made my blood boil.
Many a time, which I won't deny, we are so narrow-minded. In the heat of moment, we only believe in what we see. While apart of knowing the fact that it’s the wrong thing that we are actually seeing, we often reject any explanations. When there is always (I meant all the time) two sides to a story, we resign to the clear side that we witness.
Miscommunication tends to work around us. And it becomes an issue when we misinterpret the situation and react in a wrongful circumstance. This is what I personally called - The Evolution of Misunderstanding.
For you, Mr-Misunderstanding
I curse you,
for giving me a body without brain.
I curse you again,
for giving me hands without fingers.
I swear at you,
for giving me legs with another shorter.
I swear at you again,
for giving me a heart that does not feel.
yq
0000h
19Aug'05
Monday, August 15, 2005
Hypocrisy
As usual, someone who needs extra cash for greater spending power like myself has dragged his feet to work in the noon. And like every other workplaces, they harbour lovely politices. People just like to talk so much. Be it good, be it bad. Be it at your back, or at your face. My motto still stands - ignorance is the best virtue.
To each a unique life leaves unspoken stories. For a different story, it offers a different kind of taste. Sometime sweet, and sometime bitter. It's going to a never-ending of twists and turns. So much to live a merrier life, we often think and feel. So much to live a happier life, we often sob and tear. Life has too much to offer me, of which I can never take and return. Thus, I shall just resign to fate to work its magic.
Today, I shall tell a different story. A story about hypocrisy. A story which relates more about ourselves.
Many a time, we judge a book by its cover. (And yes, we are in no position to judge no one. But you know yourself best. ) For example, the first impression you have, the first sentence he says to you, the first feeling you feel etc. Little do we know, the art of hypocrisy exists in our world all the time that tend to blind us from truth. The sweetness of words may have already melt your heart. The gentleness in him may have already conquer your thoughts. But is he who he really are, or just another hypocrites?
You know yourself best (It's you who think that you don't know yourself.) You just know what you like most and what you hate core. But you just wouldn't admit. For a hypocritical life may be just what you want after all, like myself. Not that you possess a borderline personality or whatsoever. It's that you just don't want to be known. As controversial as it may be, wouldn't you agree?
How many times can we actually let our souls free? How many times can we do the things we really want to do? How many times can we say the things we want to do without causing any effects? How many times do we really have our own freewill on anything? My answer to mine was "not many times." For we are often bound with restrictions. For we are not living alone.
If you asked. Am I who I really am or am I just who I really want myself to be or am I who he wants me to be? My reply will always finish with a question mark.
At the end of the day, is the truth really that important? We are always so curious about truth. However, when it comes to light, it often trips us into many aspects of feel. Denial sets in and so on. At times, it may put a smile up hanging by us. But still, is it really that important?
I want to live my life my way. Can I?
Just my little pessimistic thoughts here. Mind me.
To each a unique life leaves unspoken stories. For a different story, it offers a different kind of taste. Sometime sweet, and sometime bitter. It's going to a never-ending of twists and turns. So much to live a merrier life, we often think and feel. So much to live a happier life, we often sob and tear. Life has too much to offer me, of which I can never take and return. Thus, I shall just resign to fate to work its magic.
Today, I shall tell a different story. A story about hypocrisy. A story which relates more about ourselves.
Many a time, we judge a book by its cover. (And yes, we are in no position to judge no one. But you know yourself best. ) For example, the first impression you have, the first sentence he says to you, the first feeling you feel etc. Little do we know, the art of hypocrisy exists in our world all the time that tend to blind us from truth. The sweetness of words may have already melt your heart. The gentleness in him may have already conquer your thoughts. But is he who he really are, or just another hypocrites?
You know yourself best (It's you who think that you don't know yourself.) You just know what you like most and what you hate core. But you just wouldn't admit. For a hypocritical life may be just what you want after all, like myself. Not that you possess a borderline personality or whatsoever. It's that you just don't want to be known. As controversial as it may be, wouldn't you agree?
How many times can we actually let our souls free? How many times can we do the things we really want to do? How many times can we say the things we want to do without causing any effects? How many times do we really have our own freewill on anything? My answer to mine was "not many times." For we are often bound with restrictions. For we are not living alone.
If you asked. Am I who I really am or am I just who I really want myself to be or am I who he wants me to be? My reply will always finish with a question mark.
At the end of the day, is the truth really that important? We are always so curious about truth. However, when it comes to light, it often trips us into many aspects of feel. Denial sets in and so on. At times, it may put a smile up hanging by us. But still, is it really that important?
I want to live my life my way. Can I?
Just my little pessimistic thoughts here. Mind me.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Tell me. What's life all about?
Phew, what a day. Sticking to my daily routine, I went on my dreadful forty-five minutes journey to school, and you know what's next. Sometimes it just makes me wonder - "What is life?" My life is nothing but a routine, and if that's what you call life, I'm dumbfounded. So, this question mark went on throughout my day.
My perception
What is life?
Some say it's about overcoming obstacles.
Some say it's about challenging uncertainties.
Some say it's about character building.
Some say it's about happiness searching.
I say it's awaiting death.
Is it fair?
God said so. It is fair.
Society said so. It is fair.
He said so. It is fair.
You said so. It is fair.
I say no. It is not.
Convince me and tell me why.
God told Adam not to do. He did it.
Society told you not to do. You did it.
He told her not to do. She did it.
You told me not to follow the devil in me,
but I replied, "Take a good look at the new-born."
Little are platinum-fed.
Few are gold-fed.
Handfuls are silver-fed.
Many are bronze-fed.
Tons are paper-fed,
or worse, no-fed.
So,
you call that fair?
If,
you said so.
Then,
I'm speechless.
yq-
0045h
13-08-05
Just my 2-cents worth. Just my thoughts. Just how i feel. Enjoy!
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Words can kill.
Do you believe that I am connected to you in a way or another and ever wonder how many pieces you will affect when you criticize, insult or just commenting?
Basically, I picture life as one big jigsaw puzzle without any boundaries and I am a piece of this big puzzle of life. You are an unique piece in the puzzle too and I am connected to you. Maybe through a hundred pieces, a thousand pieces, a million pieces, or maybe just the next few. Whatever and wherever we are in this boundless life puzzle we need each other here to make my life, your life complete. To sum it up, we are dependant on one another, whether you like it or not, that's fact and that's life.
Let me tell you why. Let's run back to the point when you are in your mother's womb. The small little "you" is very dependant on your mother to provide you with everything that is essential for your survival. When you matured in the womb and ready to face the world, you need the doctor's help. And throughout your childhood and teenage years till you become an adult, you depend on your parents for guidance, financial needs etc. In your education journey, you depend on your mentors and in your social circle, you depend on your friends for support too etc. When you turn to an adult, you will still need someone's help somehow sometime. You will need your husband/wife for love, for care and concern, for sex and for reproduction etc. And even you are old, you still need company. In conclusion, whatever is the case, what I'm trying to say is, no matter how independent you are, you are still dependant on somebody out there. And surely, there are many out there who need you and depend on you too. Think about it. Am I right?
Back to the puzzle piece. Usually, a piece constitutes four connecting sides. And in this life puzzle, I picture these four connecting sides as your parents, your siblings, your lover and your friends. However, these sides change in shapes and sizes with the ever-changing feelings. At one point, it may fits so well with another, yet at another point, it will seem rather distorted.
A distortion with a piece may and can seriously affect the next and the next and so on. And as much as one shall always know themselves best, but without a strong state of mind, your flying words can hurt.
Words of Wisdom: Rescue the being by killing the beast
Basically, I picture life as one big jigsaw puzzle without any boundaries and I am a piece of this big puzzle of life. You are an unique piece in the puzzle too and I am connected to you. Maybe through a hundred pieces, a thousand pieces, a million pieces, or maybe just the next few. Whatever and wherever we are in this boundless life puzzle we need each other here to make my life, your life complete. To sum it up, we are dependant on one another, whether you like it or not, that's fact and that's life.
Let me tell you why. Let's run back to the point when you are in your mother's womb. The small little "you" is very dependant on your mother to provide you with everything that is essential for your survival. When you matured in the womb and ready to face the world, you need the doctor's help. And throughout your childhood and teenage years till you become an adult, you depend on your parents for guidance, financial needs etc. In your education journey, you depend on your mentors and in your social circle, you depend on your friends for support too etc. When you turn to an adult, you will still need someone's help somehow sometime. You will need your husband/wife for love, for care and concern, for sex and for reproduction etc. And even you are old, you still need company. In conclusion, whatever is the case, what I'm trying to say is, no matter how independent you are, you are still dependant on somebody out there. And surely, there are many out there who need you and depend on you too. Think about it. Am I right?
Back to the puzzle piece. Usually, a piece constitutes four connecting sides. And in this life puzzle, I picture these four connecting sides as your parents, your siblings, your lover and your friends. However, these sides change in shapes and sizes with the ever-changing feelings. At one point, it may fits so well with another, yet at another point, it will seem rather distorted.
A distortion with a piece may and can seriously affect the next and the next and so on. And as much as one shall always know themselves best, but without a strong state of mind, your flying words can hurt.
Words of Wisdom: Rescue the being by killing the beast
Monday, August 08, 2005
My last piece...
When there is a beginning, there is an end. For I shall start with an ending before a whole new beginning. This is my last piece i wrote for her...
A different sight
The silhoutte with an angelic aura
appears in my mind every moment.
Down at the outskirt of this world
she meant the whole world to me.
Life itself is a puzzle
that makes her a piece and connects to me.
Love itself is a mystery
that needs her to nurture.
So much complications in our life
makes everything seems all so impossible.
Too little tales around
to match our stories together.
For life to me has seemed so meaningless now
i will just have you in my heart.
yq
-07/06/05
-02:29am
A different sight
The silhoutte with an angelic aura
appears in my mind every moment.
Down at the outskirt of this world
she meant the whole world to me.
Life itself is a puzzle
that makes her a piece and connects to me.
Love itself is a mystery
that needs her to nurture.
So much complications in our life
makes everything seems all so impossible.
Too little tales around
to match our stories together.
For life to me has seemed so meaningless now
i will just have you in my heart.
yq
-07/06/05
-02:29am
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